the internet ate my blog post
"My motto in life, in general, is approach, approach, approach, especially when it’s scary. Move in the direction of your healing."
The title of this post says it all, ya'll.
I had like a whole, long, WELL-CRAFTED thing to send out to you today: some beautiful writing about rituals + the coming of fall. About how to honor your transitions and your journey in this next phase of the year. How to really anchor and get grounded. How to land in yourself.
I was really excited about the blog post, since I haven’t sent out any “real mail” in a long time. (I’m still mostly over on Instagram, sometimes on FB, and I would like to send more blogs and newsletters this fall. I'd also like to perhaps even get a Patreon going? Big dreams, these days.)
Anyway, literally as I went to proofread it one more time this morning (I had woken up at 6 am before my kid to make sure I finished it!) and I somehow deleted all.of.it. Panic, grief, letting go, acceptance ... gone.
I have no idea how: somehow I must have clicked the wrong keys at the right time. Though I didn’t cry, I did spiral for awhile. Like, really??! How is anything actually like truly just deleted from the internet in this day and age?
So far, even though I’ve looked in all the places, I haven’t found it. No back up except some scrappy notes in the draft section of my email.
So, I made this video just because? And I was trying to process losing something I had been working on for a long time, and I didn’t have enough time today to start over... and for some reason I had was really attached for it to go out before the long weekend (in the US).
Making the video did leave me with a thought: what if sometimes we have to let go of the thing we want "it" to be (our lives/kids/blog posts/relationships/our dreams of perfection) in order for "it" to be what it truly wants to become?
I haven’t actually landed on an answer, but I’ll be sitting with it. Maybe the blog post wasn't the right one to send. Maybe I just need to let go, and see what else takes shape after I'm more rested and less attached. Maybe it wants to be more playful, and less crafted.
I don't know, and it is also just a bummer, but as a coach, I do like to sometimes seize what's possible in the middle of things not working out.
And hopefully I’ll have another beautifully written blog piece by next week ... or something entirely different?
In the meantime watch the video and check out my coaching services and email me back to say hi!
What’s your story?
Where is your heart these days?
What’s going on in your one wild and precious life?
PS: or maybe the lesson is IT IS STILL ACTUALLY SUMMER! I think we are going to go swimming tomorrow, and let it not be fall for a little while longer.